


Everything's different

by Want_to_read234



Series: My First Whumptober (2020) [16]
Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:09:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27106255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Want_to_read234/pseuds/Want_to_read234
Summary: When Peter returned from the snap, he was blindsided by his aunts new relationship with Happy. So many things have changed, but his grief for his uncle hasn't.Day 19: Grief / Mourning Loved Ones
Relationships: Happy Hogan/May Parker (Spider-Man), May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: My First Whumptober (2020) [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948717
Comments: 2
Kudos: 51
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	Everything's different

**Author's Note:**

> Hi,
> 
> So I hope this is ok and you manage to enjoy it. My proofread might now have been the best since I was up all night sick, then ended up working this afternoon... 
> 
> Anyway, Enjoy!

The last three months had been weird.

Ever since the Avengers had worked together to reverse the snap, Peter had been trying to adjust to a world that had continued spinning for 5-years without him.

xXxXxXx

After the final battle, Doctor Strange had created a portal to the New York Sanctum which allowed him to return to the city. Mr Stark had stopped him from heading back to his apartment, instead getting him to accompany him to the tower. Apparently, he had bought it back during his missing 5 years. The roads were chaos with the sudden re-introduction of half the population, so they opted to walk to the tower, rather than sitting in the gridlocked traffic.

Halfway to the tower, they came across Neds apartment building.

Or where Neds apartment building was _supposed_ to be.

Peters feet stopped in their tracks, as he stood staring at the fenced in demolition site. Just a couple of days ago he had been sitting in Neds living room, lounging about playing video games.

But then, it wasn’t a couple of days ago. It was over 5 years ago.

He heard Mr Stark calling his name. Turning he saw his mentor standing a few paces in front, watching him with concern etched on his face. Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Peter nodded and followed his mentor.

The rest of the walk to the tower had been tense. His eyes were focused on everything that had changed since the last time he had seen it. Mr Stark kept stealing glances at him, as if he was expecting him to disappear if he wasn’t looking.

It wasn’t until they were standing in the elevator that Peter finally found his voice again, “Mr Stark?”

“Yeah Pete?”

“Is the reason that I’m here – I mean not that I’m not thankful that your inviting me up to the tower, this is amazing - but erm, I guess I just wanted to know if I’m here because my building is gone like Neds is? Do I even have a home anymore? Is May ok? Have you heard from her? Cause nobody has really told me anything, and I know that everyone’s been super busy since we-“

“Woah, slow down there Pete,” his mentor smiled, “Your building is still there but May doesn’t live there anymore. She’s fine,” he was quick reassure, “Trust me your aunt is doing great, even better now that you are back. She happens to be living here now actually. Has been for a while now.”

“She’s _what?!”_ he spluttered. “No offence Mr Stark, but why is my aunt living with you?”

Chuckling, Mr Stark shifted looking slightly uncomfortable. “It’s erm, it’s not me that she’s living with kiddo.”

As the elevator doors opened, Peter was staring at his mentor. “Then who is she living with?” he demanded as he followed him out into the living area.

Before his mentor had time to reply, Peter was being smothered by his aunt. May’s arms were wrapped around him, holding him close, as Peter squeezed her back. He felt his aunt shaking with sobs as she ran a hand through his hair. “ _Peter,_ my _baby._ I’ve missed you so much.”

“It’s ok May. I’m here now.” Pulling back to smile at her, he raised his hand to wipe away some of her tears.

“Yeah, you are.” Sniffing she stepped back, moving her grip from his hair to his hand, she pulled him into the room and towards a large couch.

As he sat down, he noticed Happy standing stiffly in the corner of the room, looking uncomfortable.

“Hey Happy,” Peter smiled at the man.

“Hey kid. I’m so glad to see you,” shooting Peter a genuine smile. He was taken back by the emotion on the mans face. He had grown used to the mans stoic silence and complaints when it came to him.

May sat down beside Peter and took both his hands in hers. Glancing down at his aunts hands, he froze when he caught sight of an unfamiliar ring on her left hand. His aunt started talking to him, but he was fixated on the ring. It looked like a fancier version of the one that his Uncle Ben had given her.

Interrupting his aunt, he blurted “Where did you get the ring May?” feeling his cheeks heat up, his gaze shot up to meet hers. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that to come out as rude. It’s just Mr Stark said you were living here with someone and I guess I just wanna know…” running out of steam, he murmured “who is he?”

Happy choked from where he was standing and shifted his stance. Whereas May suddenly looked away, “Well,” she ventured, “as you know its been 5-years since everything happened, and I was beside myself with grief and well Happy was there for me. And things just developed from there, so-“

“Wait,” shifting his gaze to look at Happy, “You and Happy? The ring is from Happy?”

Happy took a step forward, “I know it seems sudden kid, but its – “

“You have no _idea_ what I…” his voice faded off, as he looked between Happy and his aunt. Standing from the couch, his hands were shaking. “Sorry, I just um, I need a minute.”

Walking off down the corridor, he stopped when he found a bathroom, popping inside and locking the door behind him. He leant against the locked door breathing for a couple of minutes, before a soft knock came from the other side. Slowly opening the door, he was met with the worried face of his mentor.

“Hey Pete, you wanna talk about it?”

Shrugging Peter moved to the side to allow his mentor into the bathroom. Gazing at the floor, he breathed out “I don’t know Mr Stark.”

The man reached out a hand to lift Peters chin to meet his eyes. His eyes searched his, for any signs of what he was feeling. “Is it Happy? Do you not like him?”

“ _What?”_ Peter asked. “No, I mean Happy is fine. I like him. I’m sure he is good to my aunt; she wouldn’t be with him if he wasn’t. I just – it’s just – he’s not-“ swallowing Peter breathed, “he’s not Ben.“

His mentor nodded, a look of sad understanding in his eyes. “I get that kid, I really do.” Pulling him in for a hug, Peter felt a tear slip from his eye as he pressed his face into his mentors shoulder, “I can’t imagine how hard this is for you. But when you were, when you were _gone_ we missed you _so much_. But we had to keep going. Your aunt and Happy were there for each other, they needed each other to work through their grief and trust me, they really love each other. I’ve watched for 5 years as they slowly made it to where they are now. Happy only proposed last year. They have been together for 3 years now. Just try to give it a chance ok?”

Peter didn’t want to give it a chance. He wanted his uncle back. He knew his aunt wouldn’t stay alone forever. She was young, and she didn’t deserve to live the rest of her life alone, but his uncle only died 2 years ago. It was too soon.

But then, it wasn’t 2 years for them was it. They had buried his uncle 7 years ago. Peter had just been dead for 5 of them.

Sucking in a breath, he pulled back from his mentor staring at the ground as he quickly wiped the tears from his face. Swallowing around the lump in his throat, he found himself nodding. His aunt deserved happiness. He had already caused her so much pain, by not using his powers to save his uncle and constantly keeping secrets from her. He couldn’t take away this piece of her happiness.

Forcing a smile, he made his decision, “Yeah, of course. I get it. It was just a bit of a – a shock.”

Not looking convinced Mr Stark clapped his shoulder. “I’m going to head back through, you coming or you wanting a minute?”

Catching his reflection in the mirror, Peter blanched. His eyes were red and puffy, with tear tracks all down his face. It was obvious he had been crying, and his nose had been running. “I’ll, uh, just be minute. I’ll clean up a bit first.”

Searching his face again, his mentor nodded before leaving the bathroom. Taking a minute to get himself together, splashing some water on his face, before heading back through to welcome Happy to the family.

xXxXxXx

Since he’d returned, Peter had been splitting his time between staying in his new room in Happys apartment, which it turns out was in the Tower a few floors below Mr Starks penthouse, and spending time in his room in the penthouse with Mr Stark.

Both of the rooms were huge. At least double the size of his old room. It turns out, that May had moved in with Happy before they officially started dating as she couldn’t face being in the apartment she had shared with Peter when he wasn’t there. His current room was the one she had stayed in originally. A lot of the decorations were still the ones that his aunt had picked out, but Peter couldn’t bring himself to care. He didn’t think he would ever feel truly at home here, so why waste money trying to replace posters he had collected over the years, chasing a feeling that wouldn’t come?

His room up in the penthouse had been designed with him in mind. It turns out Mr Stark had set it all up back before the snap, wanting Peter to have a place to call his own if he ever needed it, but his mentor had just never gotten around to offering it to Peter. There were Star Wars posters on the walls, with a blue bedspread. A couple of desks against one wall where he could do homework, or some tinkering and a wardrobe filled clothes in case he was ever after spares.

He was still getting used to living with Happy.

Before the snap, it had just been him and his aunt. They were there for each other and shared the chores. Adding Happy into the mix, made everything feel odd. Peter couldn’t help but feel like a third wheel in the apartment. When his aunt was upset or tired from a long day at work, it was Happy she talked to or get a foot rub from. Happy was surprisingly a very good cook, so meals tended to be provided by the man. It was a great improvement from his aunts cooking, but he missed the way it used to be. The two of them sitting down to grimace at his aunts creation before calling it quits and ordering take-out.

In the past three months, they had had Thai once.

They used to go 2 or 3 times a week. It had been one of his uncles favourite meals, so it had been a way for them to feel closer to him.

His aunt clearly wasn’t trying to make Peter feel like a spare part. In fact, whenever she wasn’t working, she tried to spend as much time with him as possible. Having movie nights, going for walks to the local parks or shopping together. She told him stories of things that happened during those 5 years and they reminisced through old photo albums of his childhood.

Regularly Peter would catch his aunt, just sitting in silence observing him as he read or rambled about what he had gotten up to during the day. He could tell that he had been missed and he was trying to find his new normal.

Happy had been trying as well. He was no longer distant with him. He went out of his way to include him in conversations, he tried to get him involved with cooking and even learned how to play some of the video games Peter would leave lying around the living room.

Most of the time, Peter enjoyed spending time with Happy. It wasn’t that he didn’t like him. He had never lied about that. Happy was a great guy.

But he always felt a lump forming in his throat when his aunt got back from work and Happy would greet her at the door with a kiss.

That had always been what his uncle did. They always met at the door, as if their time at work was the hardest part of his day.

xXxXxXx

Peter had been lying staring the ceiling for hours already when his alarm went off. Blinking he turned to switch it off, before returning to his original position. He knew he would need to get out of bed soon. 

He had already made sure to cancel his lab day with Mr Stark.

It was tradition to head round to the cemetery in the early afternoon before going for food in a little hole-in-the-wall Thai place afterwards with May. Glancing at the time, he figured he would need to shower soon if he wanted to be ready to go by 10. Given they were no longer staying in Queens, they would need to allow extra time to travel in order to get there by 12. They used to walk over, but he’s not sure his aunt would be able to make the full journey on foot now.

Trudging through his morning routine, he stood in the front of the mirror wearing his black jeans and a plain dark grey t-shirt. Most of his clothing had fun puns or cartoons on them, but today it felt wrong to wear any of those.

Grabbing a hoodie, he wandered out to the living room. Happy was sitting at the breakfast bar scrolling through his starkpad when he walked in. Without taking his eyes off whatever he was reading, he murmured a greeting.

“Morning Happy,” Peter replied, scanning the room for signs of his aunt getting ready. “Do you know where May is?”

Frowning, Happy placed the starkpad down turning his attention to Peter, “She left for work earlier, think she’s working a double again so won’t be back till the morning. I was actually just getting ready to head out as well actually, you ok?”

Peter had frozen in the kitchen. His aunt was working. They had always spent today together. Had she forgotten? Or he supposed she had moved on. He couldn’t expect her never to move on from her grief, but he thought she might have taken the day to be with him in his.

“Pete?” Happy repeated.

Shaking his head, Peter nodded. “Yeah, have a good day at work Happy. I’m just going out to meet with Ned later.”

“You want a lift over? Shouldn’t take me too long if we leave right now…”

“Nah, its fine. I can take the subway. See you later,” sending a quick smile to the man, he turned to open a cupboard. Busying himself with filling a glass with water. He heard Happy sigh behind him before standing to leave wishing him a good day. Once he heard the front door close, Peter dropped the glass on the counter, taking a deep breath.

Swallowing around the lump in his throat, he slipped his hoodie on and grabbed his keys from the bowl near the door. Locking the door behind him, he slipped his headphones in and started his walk over to the cemetery near Queens.

It was cold outside. The wind biting his cheeks, causing him to bury his hands deeper into his pockets.

He walked for a couple of hours before he reached the cemetery. Walking the familiar paths between the tombstones, he found himself facing the Parker headstones. He looked over the graves of his parents, before his eyes met the one he was looking for. Kneeling down next to it, his fingers traced over the print of the name – _Benjamin Parker –_ as he felt the first tear slip from his eye.

“Hey uncle Ben,” he spoke softly, not wanting to disrupt the peace and quiet of his surroundings, “I’m sorry I’ve not been around for a bit. It turns out I was dead for 5-years. Came back about 3 months ago. A lot has happened since I last spoke to you… Sorry aunt May isn’t with me, she erm, she has to work today.” His voice cracked on the word, and he pressed his hands to his eyes to control his sobbing. “I can’t believe its been 3 years since you’ve been gone- or sorry, no its been 8 years. I am so sorry I couldn’t save you Ben…” The lump in his throat had grown, stealing his voice.

Peter sat in the cold, staring at his uncles headstone for a couple of hours before the ringing of his phone pulled him out of his mind. His numb fingers fumbled pulling it out of his pocket. Glancing at his phone, he was met with Mr Starks face smiling at him. Closing his eyes he declined the call. Turning his phone off he dropped it onto the grass beside him. He’s not convinced he could speak if he wanted to.

Everything felt numb.

The tears continued to slip silently down his cheeks, as he sat. Usually his aunt would be there to help him through it and guide him away when he got too caught up in his head, but not this year. She was working while he slowly froze in an empty cemetery.

The sound of footsteps crunched on the path behind him. Peter recognised the step and wasn’t surprised when his mentor lowered himself down beside him. Watching him from the corner of his eye, he saw Mr Stark reach out to pull Peter against his side.

“Hey Pete,” he spoke softly.

Sniffing, Peter mumbled, “Hey Mr Stark.”

“Wanna tell me why you didn’t ask for a lift round here? Or answer my call?”

Peter shrugged. He’s not sure he could explain the emptiness inside of him if he tried.

Understanding that Peter wasn’t going to respond, Mr Stark moved to stand. Reaching out a hand for Peter to take.

“C’mon kid. You are going to freeze out here. Why don’t we go get some lunch? There’s a Thai place round here right?”

Nodding numbly, Peter followed after his mentor. Leaning into the warm arm wrapped around his shoulders, they made their way to the small Thai restaurant.

Grabbing a secluded table in the back, they sat facing each other. Mr Stark ordered quietly for them, while Peter stared unseeingly at the table.

His mentor reached over to hold his hand, while waiting for him to sort his thoughts. They sat in silence for a couple of minutes before Peter blinked up at his mentor.

“She forgot Mr Stark. Every year, we go to the cemetery then come here for food, but she forgot. She was working and left before I was even up. I just- so much has changed since… well I just thought that today would be the same, but it wasn’t.”

Mr Stark nodded, rubbing soothing circles into his hand. “You know on the first anniversary after you were gone, your aunt came here. She was distraught. It took both Happy and I to get her to leave the cemetery and to eat something afterwards. The following year, she just couldn’t face going. She was trying to deal with the loss of both you and your uncle and it was too much for her. She just couldn’t visit today. She usually comes to visit next week with Happy.”

“Oh, I guess I hadn’t thought about that. I suppose I should have known she would have been visiting with Happy…” his mentor shot him a questioning look.

“Have you talked to May about any of this? Not about today, but about how you feel about her and Happy?”

“I don’t mind Happy! You know that I like him, it’s just... its just that it had always been me and her, and now Happy has taken over my role and I just don’t get where I fit anymore.”

“They both love you Pete. It’s a big adjustment. We’ve had years to grow used to it, its not fair for us to expect you to be ok with it in a couple of months.”

The waitress returned to hand them their food and Peter picked up his chopsticks. His mentor picked up a fork before clearing his throat. “What do you say we eat our food, head back to the lab for a couple of hours and when May and Happy get back we go talk to them about what you are feeling? They deserve to know Pete, even if you think you are sparing them by not sharing it, they know something is up. They just haven’t been able to work out what it is.”

Nodding slowly, Peter knew his mentor was right. It wasn’t fair to them not being honest. He had heard them at night, discussing his odd behaviour or quietness. He just didn’t want to feel like he was stealing away their happiness.

Taking his first bite of chicken, he closed his eyes. Savouring the taste as all the memories of his uncle flashed through his mind. Releasing a breath he hadn’t known he was holding, he smiled for the first time that day.

His uncle might be gone, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t make new memories with Happy or with Mr Stark. Neither man was going to replace Ben, just like Ben didn’t replace his dad.

Hopefully talking later would be the first step to fully accepting his newly extended family.


End file.
